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Saturday, 21 January 2012

How to make your marriage better

Understanding that your wife’s deepest need is for love and a husband’s deepest need is for respect is the core in how to make your marriage better. His love motivates her respect, her respect motivates his love.
How does a husband spell love to his wife?
Following is a brief review of six concepts. If a you as a husband can memorise them and use even one or two of them each day, it will go a long way in keeping your relationship intact. Husband should ask himself:
1. Closeness: Am i always remembering to move toward her and accept her need to talk and connect with me to be reassured of my love?
2. Openness: Do i share my thoughts with her, and am i sure I’m not resisting her efforts to draw me out?
3. Understanding: Am i careful not to ‘’fix’’ her every time she talks about one of her concerns or problems? Am i remembering that she is an integrated personality and whatever happens affects all of her, especially her emotions?
4. Peacemaking: Am i always willing to resolve issues, and am i careful to never say, ‘’let’s just drop it and move on’’?
5. Loyalty: Do i constantly look for ways to tell her that i will be loyal to her forever-that she’s the one love of my life, the only woman for me?
6. Esteem: Do i always let her know that i treasure her and put highest value on her as a person? Do i let her know that what she does and thinks are important to me? Does she know i couldn’t possibly do without her?
How does a wife show respect to her husband?
A wife uses these six concepts to let him know how important and vital he is to her. A wife should ask herself:
1. Conquest: Am I always standing behind him and letting him know I support him in his work and endeavours in his field?
2. Hierarchy: Do I let him know I respect and appreciate his desire to protect and provide for me and the family? What have I said recently to communicate this?
3. Authority: Have I gone on record that, because he has the primary responsibility for me (even to die for me), I recognize him as having the primary authority? Do i let him be the leader? How have i helped in that regard recently?
4. Insight: Do I trust his ability to analyse things and offer solutions and not just depend on my ‘’intuition’’?
5. Relationship: Do i spend shoulder-to-shoulder time with him whenever I can? Do i let him know that I am his friend as well as his lover?
6. Sexuality: Do i honour his need for sexual release even when I don’t feel like it?
As a husband shows love to his wife and a wife spells out respect to her husband, they can’t help but meet each other’s needs. The beauty of it is, if you meet a need in your spouse, it will come back to you as your spouse meets one of your needs. The key is always being willing to cut your spouse some slack.....Good luck.
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Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Six lies about sex and how to control your sexual drive

      Sex is a gift from God. Having an understanding of its spiritual place in our lives saves us from lots of heart aches and pain associated with the wrong use of this precious gift.
Sex is a gift for married couples. In its divine design, it is the exclusive preserve of married couples. It is one of the most spiritual activities you can engage in as a married couple. I have written on better ways to enjoy good sex as married couples here..
  Outside of marriage, pre-marital or extra marital sex can totally ruin your destiny if you don’t know how to deal with your emotions and sex drives...There are many false beliefs about sex which this article will bring to your knowledge.

1.    Sex will make him/her get committed to you: Sex is not powerful enough to make anyone get committed to you in a meaningful relationship. If he/she isn’t interested in having a serious relationship with you, seducing, manipulating and controlling him/her sexually will not make them change their minds.

2.     Engaging in sex with the person you are dating will make him/her think that you are a sophisticated and mature person: At this point, the question to ask is: what is sophisticated and mature about sexually transmitted disease, broken hearts and unwanted pregnancies? Maturity and sophistication is the ability to restrain yourself and say no to pre-marital sex. The proof of maturity is really your ability to control your sexual urges in the face of temptation, pressure or emotional manipulation.

3.    Having sex with him/her will break down his/her resistance causing him/her to open up to you:  Genuine love is the only key that can open a man’s heart. Giving sex instead of that can only lead to misery. If you really want him, show lots of care, affection and develop real intimacy with him. A man who is in love with you and trusts you will not find it difficult opening up his heart to you. Develop trust. Wherever there are secrets, trust doesn’t exist.

4.    He has contributed to your life financially or materially. Having sex with him will only show how much you appreciate this: Lie! You are not in anyway obliged to do this. If the help he rendered to you was designed to enslave you to later become his sex slave, then break off from him. If he makes you think that you are hopeless and helpless without him, that is a lie. Don’t give in to sexual blackmail.

5.    You can keep him/her in a relationship if you are an expert in bed: You can never have him/her under your influence through your sexual ability. Sexual skills does not stop marriages from breaking up, remember? It doesn’t stop infidelity as well. What keeps a man faithful to a woman is his commitment to the integrity of that relationship. Sexual desire fades. You cannot afford to build your life based on this emotion because it is not strong enough to sustain a relationship.

6.    Having sex with the guy/lady you are dating will make them forget the other person in their lives: If you know he/she has someone else in their lives before you came along and you still insist on dating, you are putting your self esteem to mud. Why should you settle for second best when you can find someone who will treat you with greater respect and honor? No matter what quantity of sex you engage in, he/she is an unfaithful person and will remain so as long as he/she gets free sex from you.

                    Ways to control your sexual drive
1.    Acknowledging your sexual drive is the first step towards dealing with it.
2.    Cultivate quality friendships with like minded individuals with whom you share the same values.
3.    Get a mentor of the same sex, to whom your relationship will be accountable. You should not enter a relationship that you want to keep secret. Secrecy always results in sin.
4.    Take control of your imagination.
5.    If you are dating and you have challenges with your sex drive, then spend time together in outdoor activities rather than locking up yourselves in indoor activities.
6.    Feed your mind on God’s word, the bible and any edifying Christian literature...Good luck
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Saturday, 14 January 2012

How to make long distance relationships work

Recently, I have been hearing a lot of people complain ‘’I can’t continue with this relationship, he/she is so far away...We get to see each other once in a blue moon.’’
If you are one of those having a long distance relationship and you feel you are fed up due to the distance, then, this article is specially made for you.
    Today, I will be giving you tips on how to make your relationship work even if you are miles apart.
1.       Never take communication for granted: Technology has given you effective ways to convey your heart desires via phone, e-mails, web cam etc. Constant communication with your partner will help you feel closer to him/her though miles apart.

2.       Trust your partner: Trust, a very important thing makes relationships solid. Don’t give rooms to insecurities and suspicions. Have faith in yourself and your partner. As long as you both are true to yourselves and have no hidden intentions, things will be fine.

3.       Keep yourself busy: You have to focus on some other things while waiting for your partner. Don’t just sit until he/she comes back, what if they don’t come?  Try to identify those things that you love doing. Find ways to get yourself occupied and allow yourself to grow even in their absence.

4.       Be patient: Patience, they say it’s a virtue. If you having a long distance relationship and happen to be a hasty person, please learn to patient. Don’t focus your attention on all the negative aspects of your love life. This type of relationship requires steadfastness. Be willing to work patiently through it.

5.       Live your life!: Yes! Live it to the fullest. It’s just one life remember? He didn’t take your life with him when he left, did he? Surround yourself with family, colleagues, friends and live for the purpose you were made regardless of his or her absence.
   I know that being in a long distance relationship is not really easy, but when you keep in mind that there is someone across the miles who adore you, everything will be set right....Good luck.
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Tuesday, 10 January 2012


   Getting ditched happens every day. As you read this article, there is someone, somewhere who just got dumped for one reason or the other. It can never come with a good feeling. If by any chance, you went through this experience recently, then join me while I brush through some tips that can help you recover.
Firstly, we will see the phases of break up.
           Phase one: The injury phase.
At this phase, you cry, you are depressed, it seems the whole world has come to an end for you, you don’t eat, you spend time in dark rooms, you wish the ground would open up to swallow you, you text him/her to the extent that you are becoming mad, you drive by his/her office or house to check if his/her car is parked there, you swear you would never get into any relationship again.. In fact, at this phase, you are beyond hopeless.
Hang out a lot with family and friends. Go to the beach, go out to see some movies, comedies. Get busy with something else (no matter how difficult). This phase is a natural process which will pass with time.
                                                          Phase two: The anger phase
Here, the wrath in you is activated. Your heart is filled with vengeance. You ask yourself what ever gave him/her the guts to dump you. At this phase, you are halfway  to recovery.
Destroy every belonging of his/hers’ in your possession. Burn love letters, tear up pictures. This way, you have finalized the breakup yourself.
                                                        Phase three: The letting-go phase. this phase, you have arrived your destination. You become glad that you actually broke up with him. You start asking yourself the ‘so special thing in him/her that actually made you fall in love. You are back to your normal self, ready to start new relationships.
        Falling out of love is not a day job. It takes time just as falling in love does. Bear in mind that no matter what, life goes on. There’s a second or third chance to meet that special person. Your own person. Get a grip and start afresh. You will be happy you did....Good luck.

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Friday, 6 January 2012


       Inattentiveness can make or mar your relationships, friendship or marriage. It could lead to break ups in relationships or even divorce in marriages. Most times, we only concentrate on ourselves that we don't catch what the other person is saying.  Imagine how provoking it would be lying next to your partner, discussing a serious matter and then suddenly realize that he has fallen asleep. I, for one, adores a man who listens. Being attentive when your woman speaks goes a long way to tell her just how much you respect her. It strengthens her trust in you. It reduces tension as well. It makes love real. Listening is one of the best ways to express love and care. It is one important key in a relationship. If and when you cultivate the habit of listening to her, you are encouraging her to confide in you. Wait a minute! When I say ‘’listening’’, I don't mean sitting down there and hearing whatever that is been said. You have to understand her experience, feelings or point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree to whatever she is saying. Just make sure you always give her your undivided attention. Help out by asking question as this encourages her to open up and clarify things the more. If you have not been attentive to her, it's never too late to make amends. By taking time to listen to her, you show her how important she is...Good luck..
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Sunday, 1 January 2012


1. You get calls where the caller hangs up when he/she hears your voice.
2. He uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly
3. He stops wearing his wedding ring
4. He starts asking funny questions like ''do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time’’ ?
5. He begins to delete his call history when they used to accumulate.
6. He becomes accusatory asking if you are being true to him usually out of guilt.
7. He suddenly stops having sex with you.

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Thursday, 29 December 2011


Check out the best ways to make your partner's heart melt....The finest act of seduction.

For Your Wife/Girlfriend:

1. Kidnap her for a surprise picnic. Plan your rendezvous for the weekend or when you both have a free day. Make sure she doesn't have any plans. Then you tell her to come with you to the supermarket or something along those lines. Give her time to get ready, get in the car, and pick up some take-out food. Then head to a nice empty beach or park and explain to her that you're having a romantic getaway!

2. Write her a poem. If this is not your thing, there are lots of places to get some inspiration. Try a poetry book, romantic song, etc. Just don't repeat anything word for word because it may sound familiar to her and she'll know you faked it.

3. Cook her a delicious meal, light some candles, dim the lights and CLEAN the house! When she gets home, she'll be speechless.

4. Hold her hand every time you go out. If this isn't possible (because one of you is carrying a baby or pushing a shopping cart) then make sure to maintain some form of physical contact. This will make her feel like you're proud to be with her and can't keep your hands off her!

5. Give her a spa like treat. Fill your tub with warm water then add some milk and honey. Invite her in, give a a nice scrub down, then sit behind her and give her a firm yet gentle scalp massage.

6. Plan a photography session. Let your wife or girlfriend get all dolled up for you, then take pictures of her that you'll keep in your wallet, office, or car. Tell her that she's beautiful and that she takes amazing pictures.

7. Get up a few minutes before her one day and write a simple "I Love You" on a post-it. Stick the post-it on the bathroom mirror or someplace she'll be sure to see it. This is guaranteed to make her feel special.
If you want to expand on this idea, you can leave sweet little notes for her in so many other places too!

8. If you're an artist, take inspiration from Titanic and draw, paint, or sculpt your lover. You'll get the best results if your masterpiece actually looks good but if not, tell her you could never create something as beautiful as her.

For Your Husband/Boyfriend:

1. After a hard day at work, give your man an exquisite back massage. Use some aromatherapy massage oil to relax and soothe him.

2. Wear lingerie. This might not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but he will absolutely love it. He will definitely appreciate the effort you made and it'll seem super-romantic to him!

3. If your lover shaves his face, you do it for him. Play some romantic music, lather him up, and use slow, gentle strokes to shave him. DO NOT cut or nick him! Just take your time and he'll feel satisfied and taken care of.

4. Take some time out to just look into each other's eyes. Appreciate his presence, his scent, and his warmth. If you feel like kissing him, go for it!

5. Pretend to need him. Men like to be the ones to protect you, so tell him you get scared when he's not around or that you feel safe with him there.

6. Cuddle him unexpectedly. Warning - do this when you two are completely alone so that he won't feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. To keep him happy, stop before he feels crowded. I suggest you hold him for about 5-6 minutes, then give him some space.

7. Buy him tickets to a football or basketball game that you know he wants to see. To keep things romantic, go with him and cheer for his team!

8. Cook him a huge feast, let him stuff himself, and then you load the dishes in the dish washer while he rests. When you're done, sit near him and stroke his arms while whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

These are great tips that you can use anytime. Good for special occasions such as anniversaries or when you just want your partner to feel extra special. Don't ever let your significant other forget how much you care. Keep them feeling warm and fuzzy and they'll treat you so much better!
Good luck...
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