Sex is a gift from God. Having an understanding of its spiritual place in our lives saves us from lots of heart aches and pain associated with the wrong use of this precious gift.2 3
Sex is a gift for married couples. In its divine design, it is the exclusive preserve of married couples. It is one of the most spiritual activities you can engage in as a married couple. I have written on better ways to enjoy good sex as married couples here..
Outside of marriage, pre-marital or extra marital sex can totally ruin your destiny if you don’t know how to deal with your emotions and sex drives...There are many false beliefs about sex which this article will bring to your knowledge.
1. Sex will make him/her get committed to you: Sex is not powerful enough to make anyone get committed to you in a meaningful relationship. If he/she isn’t interested in having a serious relationship with you, seducing, manipulating and controlling him/her sexually will not make them change their minds.
2. Engaging in sex with the person you are dating will make him/her think that you are a sophisticated and mature person: At this point, the question to ask is: what is sophisticated and mature about sexually transmitted disease, broken hearts and unwanted pregnancies? Maturity and sophistication is the ability to restrain yourself and say no to pre-marital sex. The proof of maturity is really your ability to control your sexual urges in the face of temptation, pressure or emotional manipulation.
3. Having sex with him/her will break down his/her resistance causing him/her to open up to you: Genuine love is the only key that can open a man’s heart. Giving sex instead of that can only lead to misery. If you really want him, show lots of care, affection and develop real intimacy with him. A man who is in love with you and trusts you will not find it difficult opening up his heart to you. Develop trust. Wherever there are secrets, trust doesn’t exist.
4. He has contributed to your life financially or materially. Having sex with him will only show how much you appreciate this: Lie! You are not in anyway obliged to do this. If the help he rendered to you was designed to enslave you to later become his sex slave, then break off from him. If he makes you think that you are hopeless and helpless without him, that is a lie. Don’t give in to sexual blackmail.
5. You can keep him/her in a relationship if you are an expert in bed: You can never have him/her under your influence through your sexual ability. Sexual skills does not stop marriages from breaking up, remember? It doesn’t stop infidelity as well. What keeps a man faithful to a woman is his commitment to the integrity of that relationship. Sexual desire fades. You cannot afford to build your life based on this emotion because it is not strong enough to sustain a relationship.
6. Having sex with the guy/lady you are dating will make them forget the other person in their lives: If you know he/she has someone else in their lives before you came along and you still insist on dating, you are putting your self esteem to mud. Why should you settle for second best when you can find someone who will treat you with greater respect and honor? No matter what quantity of sex you engage in, he/she is an unfaithful person and will remain so as long as he/she gets free sex from you.
Ways to control your sexual drive
1. Acknowledging your sexual drive is the first step towards dealing with it.
2. Cultivate quality friendships with like minded individuals with whom you share the same values.
3. Get a mentor of the same sex, to whom your relationship will be accountable. You should not enter a relationship that you want to keep secret. Secrecy always results in sin.
4. Take control of your imagination.
5. If you are dating and you have challenges with your sex drive, then spend time together in outdoor activities rather than locking up yourselves in indoor activities.
6. Feed your mind on God’s word, the bible and any edifying Christian literature...Good luck
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